Written by Mark Harper | 28 January 2012

I can’t go to Hawaii this year. Instead of wallowing around in self-pity I am blogging about the Top Ten Reason Not To Go To Hawaii.

10) Chickens and Roosters

9) Banana Pancakes

8) Sharks

7) Danger

One of the biggest dangers in Hawaii is the waves in the ocean. When the waves in the Pacific Ocean get too big, the lifeguards put up these red flags. The red flag is another way of saying “Danger!”

Two things happen when the red flags go up.

1) All of the tourists scramble out of the water to get away from the dangerous waves.

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Written by Mark Harper | 25 January 2012

This little guy is in the "shark pond" at the JW Marriott Ihilani Resort at Ko Olina.

I usually go to Hawaii every February to break up the Minnesota winters. I can’t go this year, so to make myself feel better I am blogging about the Top Ten Reasons Not To Go To Hawaii For Your Vacation.


Everyone knows that sharks are bad, but in Hawaii they are really bad. The state of Hawaii is a group of seven islands. It doesn't really matter which island you are on, it's still an island and you are surrounded by water. (Now stay with me here.) Not only are you surrounded by water you are also surrounded by sharks.

If you were in the state of Florida, which is a peninsula, (not an island) you could escape from the state without having to go through the sharks. 
 In Hawaii the locals try to get you into the water to go snorkeling or scuba diving. All of this is just a trick to help feed the shark population that surrounds Hawaii.

How do I know this?

Because, I saw a shark when I was snorkeling near Kaanapali Beach. I was about to dive down to get a closer look at some brightly colored fish when a reef shark swam directly under me. My heart skipped a few beats as fear tried to grip me. Suddenly a comforting thought entered my mind.


"He is just a little guy (about 5 feet long) and I'm bigger than him. All he could do is bite off one of my fingers, or maybe my hand, and that's not too bad."

When I got to shore I returned my snorkeling equipment to the dude in the little shack. I thought I should tell somebody about the shark. I was sure they might want to clear out the ocean like they did in Jaws.

The rental guy just said, "That's cool"

"What" I said to myself. "I thought sharks were evil"

He didn't call the shark police, or anything. 
That's when it hit me; there is a conspiracy between the sharks and the people that rent snorkeling equipment.

So, if you do not like sharks, and you do want to keep both of your hands, then don't vacation in Hawaii. Or at least stay out of the ocean.

I can’t go to Hawaii this year, but I am going to be in Cleveland, Tennessee on February 3 for one of our TRANSFORM conferences. I hope to see you there.

Click here for more info.

Come back tomorrow for more bad news about Hawaii.