How to talk to kids about tragedy

It’s hard to believe.   Another school shooting. 

19 Children and 2 Adults were killed at an Elementary School in Texas.

My heart is broken for the parents who lost kids today. No parent should ever have to see his or her child/children die.

My heart also aches for the kids who are still alive, that lost their childhood.

• How do we move on from here?

Here are my suggestions:

Children Under 7 years old

• If your children are under 7, do not say anything to them.
• Do not listen to the news with young children in the room.
• Protect their innocence.
• If they ask questions answer their questions in the simplest way possible.

Children 7 – 12 years of age

• Grade School children are going to hear what happened from their friends at school. It’s best if they hear it from you first.
• Tell your children simply and directly what happened. If this is too difficult, put on the news for five minutes and then turn it off.
• It’s likely the first concern that your son or daughter will have is for their own safety. Reassure them that the people that carried out this attack is no longer alive.
• Look up scriptures in the Bible that deal with fear. (1 John 4:4, 2 Timothy 1:7) Let them know that you get afraid sometimes and when you do, you say these scriptures and keep saying them until the fear goes away.
• Love on your kids. Give them hugs. If they start to cry let them know it’s okay to cry, but if they don’t cry that’s okay. Don’t try to make them cry.
• Keep your routines. Children thrive on consistency. If you have a hockey game or a birthday party to go to, then do it. It’s okay to have fun and feel normal again.
• Pray for the families at affected by this school shooting in Texas.

Teenagers 13 – 18-years old

• Listen more and lecture less.
• They may just want to talk to you. They may have some difficult questions.
• If you know the answer to their question, answer them. If you don’t know the answer it’s okay to say, “I don’t know why this happened.”

Here are the most frequent questions and how I would answer them: 

Why did this happen?

Answer: I don’t know.

Why did God let his happen?

Answer: God had nothing to do with it.

Why didn’t God stop the attackers?

Answer: God does not control us. He tells us the right thing to do, but He lets us make the choice to follow His will.

For Sunday School Teachers and Leaders at Church

• If you teach a pre-school class I would not say anything to the kids.
• If you are teaching kids over seven, I suggest breaching the subject right after worship by praying for the families that have been affected by the school shooting.
• Take a few minutes to teach kids how to resist the spirit of fear.
• If you choose to do this, make sure you get your pastor’s permission before you say anything.
• Be available: Let parents know that you are available if their kids just need somebody to talk to.

“Greater is He that is in me, than he that is in the world.” I John 4:4