Choosing Friends for Life

Two People are better than one, for they can help each other succeed.– Ecclesiastes 4:9

Friendships determine the quality and direction of our lives.

Healthy friendships help us succeed in life.

Toxic friendships will bring great heartache.

He who walks with wise men will be wise, But the companion of fools will suffer harm.– Proverbs 13:20

The bottom line is this, I become like the people I hang with. This is why it is so critical that we teach our kids how to choose friends that will help them succeed in life.

Here are Five Friendship Principals we need to teach our kids:

1) Friendship is a two way street. Most young children are naturally selfish. They begin to develop social skills around two years old by learning to share and wait their turn. If they are selfish they will not have any friends. If they are too compliant they will attract unhealthy friends who want to control them. We need to teach our kids that friendship is a win/win partnership. You give and you get in a healthy friendship.

2) Choose Friends Who Are On The Same Road. If you want to play football hang with other kids who want to play football.

3) Choose friends that are good at what you want to do. If you want to be good at math, hang with kids that are good at math. If you want to make movies hang with someone who is good with a camera.

4) Hang with friends who make you feel good about yourself. These are people that say kinds words and do good things. This doesn’t mean you never have an argument, but you enjoy being around them.

5) Avoid friends who have destructive habits. If you choose to hang with kids who have destructive habits, such as rebellion, anger, lying, cursing or smoking you will become like them. Do not spend a lot of time with kids who do these things.

The Bible says that we are to love everyone, but we don’t have time to be friends with everyone. Jesus was very selective about who his friends were. His bar for friendship was very high. We need to teach our kids to set the bar high for their friendship.


This is only 1 of the 45 things I share in my new book, The Red Book: The Life Blood of Children’s Ministry 

If this were where you want to see your kids when they graduate to preteen or youth ministry , then it is important to build these types of teachings into our programs and curriculum.

Get your copy of The Red Book today and start laying the foundation and building a vision for your kids future!

Mark Harper

Mark Harper

Pastor, Filmmaker and Coach, Mark Harper has over 30 years of experience in the local church. He is the creator of the Super Church 2.0 Curriculum, which is used in over 5,000 churches worldwide. The focus of Mark’s ministry is helping leaders build strong churches and helping parents build strong families.
Not only has Mark served in the local church as pastor, associate pastor, and family ministry pastor but he is also a certified coach with the John Maxwell Team.
Mark Harper

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3 thoughts on “Choosing Friends for Life

  1. Kim Rathke says:

    Amen!!! Thank you for you blog, Pastor Mark. Have had a couple of situations where your wording for this topic will come in handy. Blessings!!!

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